Vermont Marathon

After hitting the snooze button repeatedly for an hour, I finally got up and got ready for the race. I had gone back and forth a number of times about whether I should actually run the race or not. I was undertrained and I had no one coming to support me, which was a big difference from my first marathon. But I knew I would feel like shit if I didn't go, so I made the 45 minute drive to Vermont. Once I was at the starting line, I was fine. Not at all nervous. It just felt like I was running another training run. I wasn't concerned about my time. I just wanted to get a nice, long run in. I put my earbuds in and took off slow and steady. I was not about to make the mistake of going out too fast again. I never look at the course map before I run a race. I'm not sure why. I just like to be surprised I guess. Surprise! This marathon was all hills! Part of it was on a freaking mountain! A lot of it was on trails, which my poor ankles were not used to. The parts on the road were on busy streets and a little dangerous, but overall the course was beautiful. Is there any place in Vermont that isn't beautiful? Maybe I could have appreciated that beauty more if I wasn't running with excruciating pain in my right foot. I don't know what I did to it, but I was in rough shape early on in the race. Every time my right foot hit the ground, I wanted to cry, which was about every half second. I had to run on the outside of my foot just to make it bearable, which I'm pretty sure caused some more damage. I can't imagine what I looked like as I was running with this weird limp trying to put as little pressure as possible on my foot. I didn't care either. I was on a mission to reach that finish line. To make things a little more miserable, it was raining the whole time. The weird part was that I wasn't actually miserable. I was cold and wet and in a lot of pain, but I felt strong knowing that I was going to finish the race anyway. I can handle pain, but I can't handle failure. I just kept pushing forward. Occasionally, I would remind myself to "enjoy the ride" because I have a tendency to only focus on the finish line. And that goes for all aspects of my life, but I am working on it. I ended up crossing the finish line at 4:38:28, which was very shocking considering my injury and the difficulty of the course. It's still not a great time, but it is an improvement  from my last marathon. But more than that, I felt pretty bad ass that I didn't quit when most people would have!

It's Not You - It's Me

Although I am always grateful for more time with my kids, cutting back to two days a week at the gym is sad. Especially, when I know I'm probably going to have to stop altogether soon. It's like I'm trying to hold onto a relationship that's not working anymore. And when I finally break up with the gym, I will have to go get all my dumbbells and exercise mat, which is like that awkward moment when you have to get all your shit back from your ex. Sorry gym, it's not you, it's me. I love HIIT so much and I would do it everyday if I could, but the class times just aren't working for me anymore. My life is full of changes right now - some good and some bad. Unfortunately, the gym is another thing that I have to say goodbye to that I don't want to. Hopefully, it will only be temporary. Someday, I would like to get back together with the gym and make it work, but for now I will have to workout at home. I really can't help but appreciate the irony of this situation right now, which is why I am being overly dramatic on purpose. Yes, I realize that it is not that big of a deal. Just helps to try to find solutions to the smaller problems in life before moving onto the big ones. Working out and running are my escape from all the other BS, which is why it is so important for me to make time in my schedule for them.