MIA

So I know I've been MIA lately. Funny thing is that I never realize that I have too much on my plate until it's too late to do anything about it. I'm working 50 hours a week at the daycare, but making less than a fast food employee. I've been so stressed out about paying my bills. The late fees and overage charges are piling up and I owe everyone I know money. The problem is that I can't make any major changes until everything is settled in court, which is the end of September. The divorce proceedings, custody hearing, and lawyer fees are also adding to my stress. Either I'm a bad mother because I'm poor or I'm a bad mother because I work too much. Either way I'm screwed. With all this going on, it has been damn near impossible to get all my school work done. I had a 4.0 GPA until recently. My grades have been steadily dropping for months, so much that I got a concerned email from my professor last week. I have 2 classes left until graduation and I should be super excited, but all I can think about is the ridiculous amount of debt I have acquired in student loans in order to get a MAED, which seems pretty worthless at this point. The only thing that has kept me somewhat sane during all this has been running and working out. Although I have not had the time or money to race lately, I have been training hard. I go to HIIT twice a week and workout at home almost everyday. I run 5 or 6 times a week, including a LR on Sundays. I have been steadily increasing my mileage with some major races coming up this fall. In September, I have 2 half marathons and a marathon relay. In October, I have 2 full marathons and of course the ultra marathon. So although things have been rough for quite awhile now, I remain optimistic of the future. My brother calls it being unrealistic, but WTF does he know. Anyway, I've seen rock bottom before and this ain't it. I've come back from much worse so I am fully confident that I will come back from this too. Nothing can be that bad as long as I have these very special people in my life.