The Spartan Beast

When I signed up for the Spartan Beast, I knew it would be difficult, but I had no idea what I was actually in for. The website said the race was 12+ miles and I thought no big deal; I've run 50 miles before. It also said 25+ obstacles and again I thought no big deal; I've done obstacle races before. However, the Spartan Race makes those other obstacle races look like a walk in the park. I cannot even describe how incredibly insane this race is! It was a day of pure torture! We had to drive 2 hours to get to Killington, Vermont. I was literally holding down vomit when we arrived because I get car sick. All I ate was a banana and a mini muffin for breakfast because I felt so sick. Then we had to take the shuttle bus to the start and they squeezed us in like sardines, which didn't help my upset stomach. It was freezing cold and extremely windy and I of course was wearing a tank top. Our wave time was 11:30, but we tried to sneak into an earlier wave. Unfortunately, they were checking wristbands at the start so we had to wait. Then we find out that the race is actually 15 miles, but I still feel pretty confident. The race starts and we head straight up the mountain. I am relieved to see a water station at the top, but I can't believe my eyes when I see the 1 mile sign. Holy shit, that was only 1 mile?!?! As the race goes on, I start to really regret not wearing my hydration vest because there are very few water stations and there is no food. That's about when I started thinking what a dumb ass I am for not reading the email about what to bring with me the day of the race. So I was starving, dehydrated, tired, and freezing. I had nothing fueling my body! The course makes you go up the mountain repeatedly and it goes through trails filled with thick mud and slippery rocks. The obstacles involved carrying heavy shit up the mountain like sandbags, logs, boulders, and my personal favorite: the large bucket of rocks. There were also high walls and cargo nets to climb over and jumping from post to post that were way too far apart for my short legs so I fell in the water. And of course every time you mess up, you have to do 30 burpees, which are their own special kind of hell. Crawling under the barbed wire didn't seem that bad until I was basically lying in ice cold mud and kept hitting knees on rocks. My knees had already taken a beating from all the downhill sections. I felt like an 80 year old with severe arthritis, but I kept going. Every time I thought I had reached the top, there was further to go. Then we would go back down, just to go up again. The mile markers seemed to be 5 miles apart. I got about halfway through the course when I made the difficult decision to throw in the towel. I was shaking uncontrollably and throwing up and I just knew I couldn't make it the rest of the way. I have no one to blame, but myself for my piss poor planning. The shame of walking down that mountain by myself and accepting my first ever DNF (did not finish) was incredibly difficult and humbling. I am not a quitter! But Saturday that's exactly what I was. I was unprepared on an extremely difficult course and I paid the price for it. To add to my pain, I had to sit on a bench shivering in my dirty, wet clothes while strangers repeatedly asked me if I finished the race, forcing me to keep saying what a failure I am.  Now it is 2 days later and I have had time to reflect on my mistakes and decided that I will come back to Killington next year stronger and more prepared and I will bring home that medal! 

11 Reasons Why The Fitness Culture on Social Media is Awesome

1) Inspiration

They inspire people to work hard, overcome obstacles, and achieve their goals. They are a positive force in a negative world.

2) Health

They encourage people to take a closer look at what is actually in the "food" they are eating. They educate people on the benefits of eating real food. 

3) Strength

They provide girls with strong, positive role models. Strong is beautiful!

4) Accountability

They take responsibility for their own happiness, which is refreshing in a world full of excuses.

5) Helping Others

They share meal ideas and workout tips to help others get healthy.

6) Support

They document their fitness journey and provide a huge support system to others.

7) Quality of Life

They are better capable of performing many tasks, leading to a more fulfilling life. 

8) Improvement

They are dedicated to continuously improving themselves. 

9) Friendship

They are not a cult. They form friendships with each other because of similar interests and goals.

10) Challenge

They enjoy challenging themselves. They gain confidence each time they accomplish something that they once thought was impossible. 

11) Acceptance

They challenge others to be more open minded and less judgmental. 

2013 Recap

As I start to plan my 2014 race schedule, I decided that I should take a look back at all of my accomplishments last year. 2013 was a great year for running. It was a not so great year for everything else and I don't think that is a coincidence. Running is my therapy. When things go wrong, I go run. This explains why I was running so much last year and all my hard work paid off because I accomplished every single one of my goals. I didn't run as many races as the year before because I focused on training for specific races. I ran two 5Ks, a half marathon, a full marathon, and an ultra marathon with new PRs at every distance. The times to beat for this year are:

21:51 for the 5K

1:45:56 for the half marathon

4:38:28 for the full marathon

My 5K time earned me a first place ranking, which was a first for me. My goal for this year is to get that time under 20 minutes so I see a lot of speed work in my future. My half marathon time was decent, but I would like to place at that distance this year. The marathon is not my best distance, but the fact that I ran the majority of that race injured and in extreme pain, made me feel unstoppable. The big event last year was completing my first ultra marathon. I actually ran 50 miles, which is pretty incredible. Although I bitched a lot, doubted myself, and eventually broke down in tears, I crossed that finished line and I plan to do it again this year. The goal is to not get lost this time so I can finished in 12 hours or less and qualify for a 100 mile race next year. 

I Guess I Should Thank You

I guess I should thank you for hurting me again. It is exactly the motivation I need to get my ass in the gym more and to stick to my diet. I have shifted gears and I'm taking a break from endurance running so I can build some muscle. I have my sights set on a fitness competition next year and it's going to take a lot of hard work. I am going to HIIT two nights a week and Shred two mornings a week. HIIT is high intensity interval training and Shred is heavy lifting. I also bought some more equipment for my home gym so I can lift at home too. I'm on a strict diet; 5-6 meals a day with a lot more protein than I'm used to and a gallon of water a day. Getting ripped makes me feel better and standing on that stage looking amazing is my metaphorical middle finger to you and everyone else that has treated me badly. 

50 Miler

I arrived in Canandaigua Friday night, got some dinner, and tried to sleep, but that is pretty much impossible the night before an ultra. I got up at 4 in the morning, got ready, and left. After getting lost for a little while, we arrived at the starting line just minutes before the 6 a.m. start. It was still dark out, so the group stayed together for the first hour. 

The hills were ridiculous and we started to spread out quickly. I spent most of the race by myself on back country roads.

The first 20 miles went pretty smoothly and then I stopped at an aid station to refuel and visit with my family. 

Things started to get rough somewhere along the next 10 miles. I stopped at another aid station and headed back out wondering how the hell I was going to run another 20 miles. The pain was everywhere! The bottom of my feet hurt every time they hit the ground, my laces caused pain to the top of my feet, the backs of my shoes rubbed my skin raw, I could feel blisters forming on every toe, and I knew I would be losing many toenails from this race. The uphills were difficult, but the downhills were torture on my bad knees. 

My ankles were swollen and throbbing. Then I began to feel a pain I had never felt before. My legs were giving out and my hips became so stiff that it felt like my legs could snap off at any moment. My family began meeting me at every aid station because they could see that I was in a ridiculous amount of pain. They even got out and walked with me for part of it, but even walking hurt. 

The last 15 miles were extremely difficult. I was in excruciating pain, but I knew I had to keep going. I was so excited when I saw that there was only one mile left that I missed a turn. When I realized that I had to turn around, I broke down in tears. I wasn't even sure I could make it another mile and now I had to go even further. I kept pushing forward with tears in my eyes and I finally saw that glorious finish line. Crossing the finish line with my son running next to me was the greatest feeling in the world. 

MIA

So I know I've been MIA lately. Funny thing is that I never realize that I have too much on my plate until it's too late to do anything about it. I'm working 50 hours a week at the daycare, but making less than a fast food employee. I've been so stressed out about paying my bills. The late fees and overage charges are piling up and I owe everyone I know money. The problem is that I can't make any major changes until everything is settled in court, which is the end of September. The divorce proceedings, custody hearing, and lawyer fees are also adding to my stress. Either I'm a bad mother because I'm poor or I'm a bad mother because I work too much. Either way I'm screwed. With all this going on, it has been damn near impossible to get all my school work done. I had a 4.0 GPA until recently. My grades have been steadily dropping for months, so much that I got a concerned email from my professor last week. I have 2 classes left until graduation and I should be super excited, but all I can think about is the ridiculous amount of debt I have acquired in student loans in order to get a MAED, which seems pretty worthless at this point. The only thing that has kept me somewhat sane during all this has been running and working out. Although I have not had the time or money to race lately, I have been training hard. I go to HIIT twice a week and workout at home almost everyday. I run 5 or 6 times a week, including a LR on Sundays. I have been steadily increasing my mileage with some major races coming up this fall. In September, I have 2 half marathons and a marathon relay. In October, I have 2 full marathons and of course the ultra marathon. So although things have been rough for quite awhile now, I remain optimistic of the future. My brother calls it being unrealistic, but WTF does he know. Anyway, I've seen rock bottom before and this ain't it. I've come back from much worse so I am fully confident that I will come back from this too. Nothing can be that bad as long as I have these very special people in my life.

Run if You DARE

The DARE Race is one of my favorites for several reasons; it was my very first race, it's in my hometown, and my father is one of the police officers along the course. However, he was not there this year because he was recovering from a recent surgery. It is a relatively flat course that I know very well so I was determined to get a new PR. I started out in front, which I almost never do and I took off as soon as the gun went off. I did the first two miles at a 6:30 pace and I was holding my own as the first place female for the first half of the race. But I was dying and losing speed in the second half. I slowed down quite a bit in the last mile and got passed by a few people, but I was pretty sure I still had a new PR. Turns out I was right because I finished in 21:51 and won second place for my age group. Right after I finished, the sky got dark, it started pouring rain, and a violent thunderstorm started. I stuck around for a little while determined to celebrate my victory, but I ended up getting the heck out of there when I found out about the tornado warning. I haven't done as many races this year as I have in previous years, but the ones I've done have all been PRs so far. Turns out focusing on key races is much more rewarding than racing every weekend.